CLIMBING OUT OF THE LOW SELF-ESTEEM VALLEY
For as long as I can remember I have dealt with low self-esteem. While I’m not smart enough to know its origins, I am keenly aware of its damaging effects in my life.
- No matter how well I may have done in a college test (and I did very well in the classroom) or how others may have been helped by a message I preached, my negative self-talk rarely allowed me to enjoy my hard-earned accomplishments.
- For years I have played the fatal mind game – self-comparison. I lose every time.
- Low self-esteem has discouraged and demotivated me, causing me days on end of moderate levels of depression.
- I have found myself wanting to please everyone – an impossibility!
About five years ago, I asked the First Assembly (Des Moines, Iowa) Deacon Board to give me an assessment of my ministry strengths and weaknesses. They were very reticent to do so, indicating that that was not what they were called to do. However, at my insistence, they did what I asked them to do. Their assessment was thorough, gracious, and challenging. While their written and verbal report indicated many areas of strength, they also identified two areas for growth.
Following their evaluation, as I began to put my action plan together to strengthen my weak areas of ministry, I came to understand how my low self-esteem was negatively impacting my otherwise fruitful ministry. I was not seeing myself as God sees me. Being a perfectionist didn’t help either.
Today I see myself more like God sees me. By the grace of God, I am no longer at the bottom of the self-esteem valley. I give God all the praise. He showed me how to renew my mind and correct my negative self-talk.
The single biggest factor contributing to my improving self-esteem is God’s Word.
Nearly every day for several years now I say to myself what God has already said to me through His Word.
- I am a child of God.
- I am loved.
- I am gifted.
- I am forgiven.
- I am the “apple of His eye.”
- The Spirit of the Lord is upon me.
- I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.
- I am complete in Christ.
- I am joy-filled.
- I am thankful.
- God is my friend.
- God is my salvation.
God’s word has renewed my mind. I am becoming a new creation. I now look to God for His approval more than to others. While I’d like you to be happy with me, my self-esteem isn’t dependent on your view of me now.
This is no instant formula – no magical wand – just a daily applying of God’s powerful and living Word to my mind. This is a process – not an event!
I am slowly finding my way out of the deep valley of low self-esteem. By God’s grace, we all can – we can finish strong!
JMP
p.s. Anyone else out there dealing with this issue? If so, how are you doing?
November 15th, 2007 at 9:56 am
Great stuff John. Absolutely wonderful.
November 21st, 2007 at 10:05 am
Hey John,
Thanks so much for this post. This has been my biggest struggle over the years. I will continue to meditate on His WORD and I will ‘keep climbing.”
Praying for you in the ‘big house’ and looking forward to more wisdom and encouragement via the blog world.
I know Gram is down there…give her a Thanksgiving hug for me.
November 21st, 2007 at 1:31 pm
I love your web site and your blog. Thaks for doing this! What a “one-two punch” this is to the kingdom of darkness!!.
1) Through your blog, God has given you VOICE. Who would have thought a GS in Springfield, MO could ever have communication with a pastor of a small church plant in Cleveland, OH except through this tool. Thanks for breaking the silence.
2) Additionally, thanks for your personal transparency to surface an issue that’s the “elephant in the room” for most of us in ministry. We can really help each other once we start talking about issues the enemy has used to hold us back. I wrote your helps in my prayer journal today.
What have I found helpful? Ask God what He thinks of a service before I look at the attendance number, the offering total, or begin evaluating the day in my own mind. I’m often surprised at what He points out to me. Secondly, I’m still in the process of trying to obey God and leave the results to Him when I can’t see them. Having been an associate pastor at two larger churches prior to this church plant, I realized my measuring stick for success was somewhat scewed and needed surrendered to God.
Thanks for helping us on the CLIMB!
Blessings,
Donna
November 21st, 2007 at 6:43 pm
Hi John,
I’m not sure whether or not I suffer from self-esteem issues… but I have found that a daily exercise of reminders about God’s truth is very helpful. My reminders are that God…
gives peace.
cares for me.
is redeeming me.
will complete His redemption some day.
is holy.
is righteous.
leads toward the fruit of His Spirit.
wishes me to obey even when I have no emotional stimulation.
gives wisdom.
gifts each person for service.
wants me to seek Him.
will help me.
November 23rd, 2007 at 4:13 pm
John, thanks for your openness and authenticity. Yours is a great testimony that has touched me and I’m sure will touch the lives of many others. God bless you and grant you exceeding wisdom, grace and strength as you begin your new responsibility serving our felolowship.
November 28th, 2007 at 10:06 pm
Just wanted to let you know that your ministry truly touched our family. Your genuine interest in the lives of our children will always be deeply appreciated. You were a great encourager to them.
Your message is a reminder that we all have our struggles, but God is faithful!
Sally Oldham
August 21st, 2008 at 7:25 am
Thank you very much for this honest posting. I have suffered from low self esteem for many years and fight to ignore the negative thoughts that stop me from going after my dreams. I long to be happy and content to be who I am and find it very difficult as I constantly compare myself to others. Reading your post has been very encouraging. thank you so much.
August 22nd, 2008 at 12:29 pm
Good for you. We all have our way but low self-esteem can be overcome. I’ve done it too.